Undisputed Bridesmaid
by suspect tomatoes
Summary: The famous Rock and Stone Cold story ain't got nothing on this one. Triple H/Steph/Jericho.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I really hate myself, but I just finished watching Made of Honor and it wasn't too bad. I mean, it was bad, I predicted everything that was supposed to happen, but Dempsey's hot and I'm stoned, so everyone wins. Oh, and I wrote this in my head. Woo woo woo, you know it!**

I was in love with my best friend.

There aren't too many secrets kept in the life of a wrestler, but fortunately, this one's been locked up for quite some time. I'd never, _ever_ uttered those words to anyone—not Adam, not Jay, and _definitely_ not Steph.

So I don't really know why I'm telling you. But since the lion's out of the bag, I might as well keep going.

I met Steph ten years ago. At the time, she was definitely someone I just wanted to sleep with—she was a bad girl. My boss's daughter, she made every employee of Vince McMahon follow her like a lost puppy with just the swing of her hips.

But I wasn't known to be desperate. So I waited for her to come to me.

Except... she never did.

She went off and did her own thing, leaving her suitors with their hearts bleeding in their hands. She didn't have any interest in anyone in the company—they didn't _deserve _her.

Well, I definitely deserved her. The only problem was—did she deserve _me_?

I wanted to think she did, just so I wouldn't feel trashy after everything was said and done. But I never ended up in bed with her.

I ended up in coffee shops, talking. I ended up in department stores, picking out bed spreads. She asked me for outfit advice, if this guy was worth it, if that guy was an asshole. Should she dye her hair blonde? Should she keep it dark?

I ended up being her best friend.

I was fine with it at first. I really was.

But then _he _came into the picture.

* * *

"I can't wait for you to meet him," Steph whispered excitedly, pulling me through the crowded club to find the table she'd reserved. "I'm telling you, Chris, he's _perfect_."

"Uh huh." My eyes were wandering, spotting girls on the dance floor, girls that knew who I was and what I wanted. But Steph tugged on my arm and I jerked after her, trying to keep my radar clear.

He stood up when he saw us and kissed her fervently, right in front of me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as they battled for a solid minute, stretching the fakest smile I'd ever managed to pull on someone I wasn't sure deserved her.

But then he turned, and the light caught his face.

The smile bounced back. "_Paul_?"

His brow creased as he smiled, like he was trying to place me. "Do we—"

"Chris. It's _Chris_." I rolled my hand. "You know. _Jericho_?"

His brows shot up. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Steph frowned. "You know—"

"Steph, we wrestled together!" He was holding her hand, talking to me with his eyes on her face. "I knew _him_ before I even _met_ you!"

I smiled, but it came out more as a smirk, and before I knew it, I was engulfed in the arms of a goofy looking jerk-off. I patted his back awkwardly and nodded when he pulled back. "Yeah. It's good to see you again."

"It certainly is!" He pulled Steph onto his lap as he sat down, motioning across from him. "Sit down, asshole, let me order you something."

I could feel my fist clenching, but I sat anyway. "So. It's been a while."

"Jesus Christ, it's been what?"

I shrugged. "Two years?"

"Two years." Paul whistled. "Makes me feel old."

I nodded. "It should."

He laughed. "Still got that sense of humor, I see."

"Yep."

Paul pursed his lips awkwardly. "So. What have you been up to?"

"I wrote a book." I brushed it off. "Toured with the band. You?"

"Wrestling." He was nodding. What a tool. "You know, championships and all that."

"Ah." I tapped my hands. "Did I ever tell you the time I single-handedly defeated both the Rock _and_ Stone—"

"_Yes_, Chris, we've heard this story a _million_ times." Steph was smiling as she talked. She always did with me. Mostly because she was sick of all the bullshit I always gave her. "Let's talk about _me_ for a second, okay?"

I nodded. "Take it away, McMahon."

"Well..." She wasn't even looking at me now. Her eyes were on Paul's ugly mug. "As you know, I've been with Paul for a while now—"

"Steph. It's been two months."

"The best two months of my life," she said dreamily, pressing her nose against his. Her eyes met mine. "But we have some news."

I lifted my hands, smiling. "You're calling it quits?"

"The exact opposite," Paul laughed. He nodded at Steph. "Show him, Steph."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't want to see _anything_—"

Her hand slapped against the table so hard I thought she was going to break it.

But it was the ring glimmering in the light that broke something else.

I looked up at her. "You're kidding."

She shook her head, grinning. "No. Chris, we're getting _married_."

"You're joking."

"Aren't you _happy_?" She wrapped her arms around Paul's neck. "He's so perfect. I love him so much."

Me? You love _me_ so much, Steph.

Right?

_Right_?

Her smile faded slightly. "Chris?"

I tried to shake the haze from my eyes. "Huh?"

"Aren't you excited?"

"Uh..." I nodded, trying to swallow quietly. "Yeah. I'm ecstatic."

She started bouncing, and then she squealed. "Oh, so am I!"

And then came the tonsil hockey.

As a Canadian, it's my civil duty to support the sport.

I kicked his shin.

"Ow!" Paul glared at me. "Did you just kick me?"

"That was _you_? I thought it was the _table_."

"No, that was me." He grunted slightly, pushing Steph into the booth. "I think you broke it."

"I doubt it. A _big_, strong man like you should be able to handle a little tap."

His eyes lit up. "You're as hilarious as ever, Jericho."

I wanted to punch him in the head.

"So I have a favor to ask of you."

I looked over at Stephanie. "What?"

"Well... as you know, Chris, you're my best friend."

"And proud of it, baby."

She smiled. "Good. Because I want you to be in the wedding."

I nodded. "Okay."

"As my maid of honor."

Paul choked on a laugh, and I just sat there.

_Excuse me_?

"Now, I know that sounds funny... but I can't imagine anyone but you up there beside me."

Well, at least I wasn't alone.

_Oh, wait_.

In my fantasy, I was the groom.

In her fantasy, I was wearing a dress.

And _crying_.

My fingers scraped against the table. "I don't know, Steph."

"Oh, please, Chris." She gave me that look I hated, her lip pouting. "I want you with me. Please? It would mean so much to me."

"All right!" I held up my hands. "All right, all right. Just stop making that face."

She brightened considerably. "Yay! Oh, Chris, I'm so excited."

"Yeah." I rolled my eyes. "I can't _wait_."

"Well, don't worry, you won't have to—it's next week."

If I had a drink—like _Paul_ said he'd get me—I would've spit it out.

"_What_?"

She nodded excitedly. "We don't want to wait—we _can't_ wait. So daddy's going to let us do it on next week's Raw. Except it'll be legal."

I blinked. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Chris! I'm _not_."

"I thought you wanted some... big, elaborate wedding? Cake and presents and—"

"That was my fantasy." She turned her head, smiling. "Before I met Paul."

"Enough with the _kissing_!" I threw my hands up. "You're going to remember this day for the rest of your life, Steph. Do you _honestly_ want it to be in a ring, surrounded by fans that could care less about Vinnie Mac's brat?"

"As long as Paul's in it, I don't care." She smiled knowingly at me. "And you, of course."

"That's another thing! You're going to make me be your maid of honor on _national television_?"

"You've certainly done worse."

I tapped my fingers against the table.

She frowned. "It'll be fun, Chris. I promise."

* * *

She always made promises she couldn't keep.

But not me. When I promised someone something, I kept it.

So I did. I became Stephanie McMahon's maid of honor.

And I made another promise to both myself and to Paul.

I was going to steal his bride. At all costs, Stephanie McMahon _would _be _mine_.

Let the games begin.

**A/N: If you haven't noticed, it's not present day, and Steph and Paul didn't meet until well after their real relationship. Oh, and their whole feud didn****'****t happen either, obviously. But this is a story! So hoorah. Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, I don't even remember writing this story. **

"Maid of honor! You're a fucking pussy."

I looked over at Adam and tried my hardest to glare at him, but the knowing smile on his face just made me stare at the wall. "I hate you."

"Stop being a little bitch." He slapped my wrist. "Grow some balls so we can play hockey."

I leaned on the stick, sighing. "I have to go with her tomorrow."

"Where?"

"Shopping. For her dress. And the bridesmaids' dresses."

Adam stopped flipping the puck and just leaned against his bent knees. "Are you kidding me?"

I threw my stick. "Oh, fuck, I'm such a girl for saying yes to her."

"Why _did_ you?"

I looked down at him, trying to tell him with my eyes, but Adam wasn't exactly three-dimensional like that.

He blinked awkwardly. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Because I think I'm in love."

He sneered a little. "With _who_?"

"I—Not _you_!" I flapped my hands. "Jesus, you're obtuse."

His eyes snapped slightly. "Steph? You're in love with _Steph_?"

"Shhh! Don't say it too loud!"

"Say what too loud?"

I looked over at Jay, who had just come through the sliding glass doors with a case of Molson under his arm. "Nothing."

"No, you have to tell me."

"I don't have to do anything, Reso."

"Canadian Code of Honor."

"Speaking of honor," Adam started, grinning up at me. "Why don't you tell Jay what your latest occupation is?"

"It's not going to beat the Sea World Trainer."

"Oh, it is." Adam nodded at Jay. "By a long shot."

"Really?" Jay's face lit up as he looked at me. "What is it? Astronaut?"

I shook my head.

"Jazz Club singer."

"No."

He grimaced slightly. "Prostitute?"

"_No_!" I glared at him. "What goes on in your head? Honestly."

"Come on, man, don't change the subject. What is it?"

I sighed impatiently, jumping with Adam nudged my leg with his elbow. "Stephanie asked me to be her maid of honor. And I—"

Jay exploded with obnoxious laughter, folding in on himself to keep the beer safe as he fell to his knees. "No! _No_! Please tell me it isn't true!"

"It's _true_!" Adam squealed, falling back to laugh heartily.

"You're a bunch of fucking assholes."

Jay frowned up at me, tears in his eyes. "Oh, God. I'm sorry. That's just... that's just _sad_. Even for you."

"Thanks." I bent down and ripped open the case. "I hope you know I'll be drinking all of these."

"How did she badger you into that one?" Jay asked.

I shook my head as I drank.

"He's in love with her!" Adam yelled.

I spat directly at his face, wiping my mouth. "You fucking dick!"

"You're in _love_ with Steph?"

I snapped my head back at Jay. "Don't fucking judge me, Reso!"

"I'm not judging you! She's hot." Jay snorted. "I just need to say one more thing and then I'll never speak about it again."

My grip tightened. "What?"

"Make sure your dress isn't purple. It makes you look hippy."

* * *

"Oh, Chris, I'm so glad you agreed to doing this."

If she wasn't so beautiful, I would've Codebreakered her face. But if I had, she'd end up looking like Paul, and then I wouldn't love her anymore.

Okay, I lied. I just wouldn't want to fuck her.

"Yeah. Me too."

"You're going to love who I chose. They're probably my closest friends."

I nodded, sitting down on the couch in the little bridal shop we were in. Everything was white. Was white the fucking wedding color, or something?

That was a joke. I make jokes.

I'm Chris Jericho, remember? Laugh, minions.

"Oh, here they are!" She grabbed my hands. "Be nice, okay? I don't know if they know you."

"Anything for you, Steph."

She wanted me to be nice? I can be nice.

But when the door opened, I knew I couldn't be.

Because I already knew her bridesmaids.

The blonde one stopped dead in her tracks, causing the other two to bump into her back.

Because I already slept with all of them.

Steph smiled at them warmly. "Oh, guys! Isn't this exciting?"

Blondie sneered at me. "What's _he_ doing here?"

"Oh!" Steph wound her arm around mine. "Chris is standing up for the wedding, too."

"Shouldn't he be with _Paul_ then?"

"No, no. For... For me."

Blondie scoffed. "You're joking, right?"

Steph shook her head. "No, I'm completely serious. Chris is my maid of honor."

I smiled as best as I could. "It's nice to... see you all. Again."

The dark-haired one put her hands on her hips. "Do you even remember my name, jerk off?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah. I remember you."

"Uh huh. And my name?"

"You... you..." I winked at her, pointing my finger like a gun. "Gail Kim."

She pursed her lips. "Try again."

"Lena Yada."

"Once more."

"Melina."

Her eyes sizzled. "Lucky guess."

The redhead pushed her way to the front. "You have one guess, Jericho."

As if luck would have it, something snapped in my brain. "Natalya. I know you."

She smiled slightly. "You remember me?"

"No one can forget a mug like that."

Her mouth dropped and her fists clenched.

I held up my hands. "No, no, I meant... your face! You have a very beautiful face!"

"And what about me?" Blondie cocked a brow.

I blinked at her, mouth tight, but then I smiled, opening my arms. "_Jillian_."

And then this bitch full on just _punched_ me in the chest! It was unbelievable! If I hadn't gotten the wind knocked out of me, I would've shaken her hand.

"Beth," I hissed, holding my ribs. "How could I forget you?"

"Yeah, yeah." She went past me, pushing my face away, and hugged Steph. "Oh, Steph, I'm so happy for you! Paul is such a great guy."

"He really is," Melina gushed.

"I know, right?" Steph sighed dreamily. "He's absolutely perfect."

"Does he treat you right?" Natalya asked.

"Like a queen."

I scoffed. She wanted to be treated like a queen?

Wait until she got with the King of the World.

**A/N: Haha, I enjoy writing this. Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: WOW A TRILLION UPDATES. I have no life.  
**

"So, I'm thinking about having a small bridal shower," Steph babbled, waving her hands around. "You know, something low key, just a few friends."

"Of course!" Beth chirped.

"That sounds like a great idea!" Nattie squealed.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Melina put in.

And then everyone's eyes fell onto me.

"Uh... Good coffee." I held up my cup. "Really good."

Beth sighed irritably. "Why did you ask him to be your maid of honor again?"

Steph smiled. "Because he's my best friend."

I gave her a giddy little smile and sneered when she looked away. If only my coffee had alcohol in it... then it'd be _really_ good...

"So, when should we have it? Saturday?"

"Saturday's perfect," Beth agreed.

"Absolutely."

"Good choice."

"Do they sell _Rice Crispies _here?"

Everyone stared at me again.

I blinked. "_What_?"

Steph smiled knowingly. "Chris, you seem out of your element."

"I am. They don't serve Rice Crispies anywhere."

She laughed and it sounded like a song. "This is why I wanted you here. You're so much fun. You always make me smile."

"Anything to please you, Princess."

"Don't make me gag," Beth whispered.

"Women who usually have something in their mouth as often as you do shouldn't worry about gagging." I grinned cheekily at her.

Steph tried to hide her smile by looking away, but I saw it.

And not for long, because Beth chucked her iced coffee in my face and stormed out of the restaurant.

So there I sat, soaked in cinnamon flavored liquid, sugar sticking to my eyelashes.

Now she really couldn't hide it.

Melina and Nattie rushed up to run after Beth, but Steph didn't. She just sat there across from me and smiled and smiled and smiled.

Listen, honey. Smile while you get me a freakin' napkin.

I awkwardly brushed at my shirt. "This was my favorite shirt, too."

"I'll get it cleaned," she said, biting her tongue.

"You think this is funny?"

"Yes." She stood up and pulled Beth's seat closer to me, sitting down so that her knees were touching the side of my thigh. I couldn't help but feel my collar tighten a little around my neck.

"I smell like a bakery," I groaned.

She laughed and dipped a napkin into Melina's ice water, turning my face with her perfectly manicured fingers to brush it down my nose. "You have sugar in your eyebrows."

"It's in my _eyes_, too." I blinked rapidly. "Ow. It hurts."

She pouted prettily, wiping off my cheeks. "Poor baby. You have long eyelashes."

"Thanks."

She wet the napkin some more, leaving a trail down to my neck. She swept under my chin. "Good thing you don't have that goatee anymore."

"I know, right? It would've crystallized."

"I'm glad you got rid of it." She grabbed my cheeks and shook them. "Now I can see that handsome face!"

_Handsome_? Splendid! She thinks I'm handsome.

But she also thinks Paul's handsome.

...I need a second opinion.

I swatted her hands away. "Don't baby me."

"Then don't act like one." She wrinkled her nose as she smiled. "Can you _try_ to get along with my friends?"

"_I _didn't throw Beth's ice coffee on myself, you know."

"I know, she shouldn't have done that." Her eyes lost their light slightly and she grabbed my hands, frowning. "But can you _please_ try to get along with them? It's only for a week."

"Five days."

Her face lit up again. "Oh, that's so exciting. I love Paul so much, Chris."

I sighed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

I tried to smile. "Good."

"I can't imagine myself with anyone but him."

Okay, kid, you got your point across. Don't pour salt into an already open wound.

Er, sugar.

Steph frowned. "Chris?"

I looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"Are you crying?"

I blinked, felt the tear slide down my cheek.

_Shit_!

"Aw, Chris." She wiped at my face.

I moved away from her. "It's just the sugar."

* * *

"You _cried_ in front of her?" Jay sneered slightly. "_Dude_."

"I didn't _cry_." I shrugged. "There was just... something in my eye."

"Well, aren't you the fucking poet." Adam smiled and moved around the pool table. "Did she seem like she was pitying you or reveling in it?"

"_What_?"

"Well, maybe she likes the sensitive guys."

"She's marrying _Paul Levesque_."

Adam bared his teeth. "Yeah, you're right, you looked like a pussy."

"You're her _maid of honor_!" Jay lifted his hands. "Is there any way you _don't_ look like a pussy?"

I leaned on my cue stick. "Maybe I should just drop out now. While I still have some dignity left."

"How much dignity did you start with?"

"Shut up, Jay." I watched Adam line up his shot perfectly, sending the seven striped into the corner pocket. "I don't know, maybe I should just tell her I don't feel comfortable doing this."

"_Pus-sy_," Adam bellowed.

"Maybe you should tell her how much you love her," Jay put in, blinking all flowery at me.

"Maybe I should shove this stick up your _ass_." I moved over when Adam came by to set up another shot. "I don't know. Should I call her?"

"And tell her what?" Orange striped into the side pocket. He glanced up at me as he sauntered around. "That you think your dress makes you look fat?"

"That I hate this whole shindig and that I want out as soon as possible."

"Tell her to go fuck herself," Jay said.

Both Adam and I stared at him.

He frowned. "What? It'll make him look badass."

I just shook my head and pulled out my cell phone. "No, I'm just going to calmly explain to her why I can't do it."

"You sound like a bitch."

"Go fuck yourself," I muttered.

"Say it with more power. Go _fuck_ yourself." Jay cackled, smacking Adam's arm. "That was a good one."

"Hello?"

"Steph?" I turned away from them. "Hi."

"_Steph_?" Adam said on a high breath behind me. "_Hiiii_."

I gave them the finger and moved toward the entrance to the basement. "Hey, I need to talk to you."

"Actually, I was just going to call you."

"Oh, yeah?" I swallowed. "What about?"

"The wedding."

Please say you're not getting married, please say you're not getting married...

"I can't figure out what to wear."

Damn it.

I frowned. "Uh... a wedding dress?"

"Not during the _day_, Jericho." She laughed brightly. "At _night_."

"Oh!" But then I really _got it_. "_Oh_."

She laughed again. "Yeah. So, since you're my maid of honor, I figured you should help me. What are you doing tomorrow?"

Banging your mom. Blowing stuff up. Chopping wood.

"Uh, nothing."

Shit.

"Oh, good! Do you want to go lingerie shopping with me? I know I should probably ask Beth or Melina, but I really do need a guy's opinion. Having you as my maid of honor kinda kills two Pauls with one stone."

I blinked. "Can you repeat the last thing you said? My phone's breaking up."

"I said having you as my maid of honor kinda kills two birds with one stone."

"Oh." I scratched my chin. "Okay."

"So you'll do it?"

No, Stephanie, I will not willing partake in watching you try on sexy little outfits.

"Absolutely."

"Chris, you're amazing. I love you, sweetie."

"I... Er—"

"Chris? You there?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Steph." I hung up and turned back to Adam and Jay.

Adam was staring at me, brow furrowed. "_I, er_," he mimicked. "What was that about?"

I looked at my phone, like Steph was just going to be staring back up at me or something. "She... said I love you."

Jay whistled and looked at Adam. "That was fast."

"Not... Not like that." I waved my hand. "But I know if I had said it back I would've made it sound... _like that_."

"Because it is... _like that_." Adam shook his head. "Did you at least tell her that this whole deal is off?"

"Not... exactly."

"Pussy."

"I couldn't really tell her no after she offered to model sexy lingerie for me."

Adam and Jay froze.

"What?" they asked breathlessly.

I nodded. "Something for her wedding night."

Adam snorted. "Buzzkill."

"Not exactly. I have a plan."

"Oh? And what would that entail, exactly?"

"You'll find out the day she marries me instead of Paul."

**A/N: Woo. Review.**


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